Some people have asked me to write about what that dream was about. I've decided to do so through a blog as we. Tell me what you think. Psychoanalyze me!
It was a long day, I drag my feet upstairs. Put some background music. My shoulders ache, my eyes are heavy. I lay on bed and cover my eyes. The sun is still out and the light comes in through the window. The music is drowning. Now it is only a noise. My eyes are heavier and now I am asleep. All is darkness. I don't know where I am at first. I am walking, nowhere, I can not see anything. I am just waking, or at least it feels like I am. A Shining light appears from nowhere and now I am outside my house. My mother is sitting on a chair, enjoying the weather, the wind is blowing. I can feel it.
I look down the road and three people are coming. I recognize them. It is Fernando, Henry and Omar. I feel relief. We all smile. I look down, now there is a white chair by my mother. My father arrives from work, we all see him. He gets out of the car and yells "Ask me How was my day?" There is Silence, the question sounded odd. It sounded Wrong.
He then yells "I SAID Ask Me How My Day Was?"
To which I reply "What is your Problem?" -- He looks me in the eye. I see him. I saw through him. He walks to my mother and stands there for a moment, in silence, expressionless. He says "I Lost -------." and drops to the floor on his knees, crying, pressing his face against the chair.
I do not know what he said. I know he lost something, but I do not know what. I could not hear it, could not make out what he had said, but I feel it.
My Chest felt Pain. I walk away, look up to the sky. I know what it was, I know it was bad news, but what? I ask God "Why?" with tears in my eyes. I look back, Omar is gone.
I see a Red Van, my Mother's. I walk up to the passenger's side and look into the van. I see my cousins, but as babies, all babies. I close my eyes. I hear water running. I was in the bathroom downstairs. I wash my face. I look up and my face is shaved, but not entirely, with certain spots.
The more I saw myself in the mirror, the less I looked like myself.
I said, "This can not be Happening." It is no longer a dream. I feel things. It feels real. I am not dreaming, or so it feels.
Suddenly, I am in the living room. The table is gone. There are two chairs by the television. Fernando and Henry are playing a video game. My parents are watching them. There is a mess everywhere. Papers everywhere. I ask my mother "What Happened?" She tells me "I emptied the cabinets."
I ask if she found a DVD box I have been looking for, for years. She says "NO."
I am disappointed. The pain in my chest gradually increases. I fall on the floor. I can see myself on the floor. Fernando, Henry and my parents stand around me, looking down. I have a blank stare. Everything is turning into darkness. There is nothing, darkness, emptiness.
I open my eyes. Nothing. NO music, just me lying in bed. It was just a dream.
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Now playing: Clint Mansell - Lux Aeterna
via iPod
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